Wednesday, August 31, 2011

What's up, sluts?

So, my computer's effed.  That sentence right there?  Had to retype it about six times.  Awesomeness.  So, this'll be brief.

The first time I spent three sequential days at "genius" bar at the Mac Store at the goddamned Freehold Mall in historic Freehold, New Jersey, well, it sucked donkeys.  Really.  My harddrive was wiped clean (fortunately after backing up) but one net result, that I hadn't thought of beforehand, was that all my bookmarks were lost.  Aw, sad.  (#firstworldproblems)

I recently just remembered the fantastic website Bangable Dudes in History.  How could I have forgotten Bangable Dudes in History?  Maybe because posts are few and far between.  But, in any case, I shouldn't have forgotten because it's one of my all time favorite websites.  Along with primamomma and Steam Me Up, Kid.  Oh, and Denny Delvecchio.  And the Bloggess.  So, now I guess I have this post of mine to keep me from forgetting!  Holy shit!  Like Memento!

Also? I don't get tattoos.  I mean both, I guess.  I neither "get" them (so have none) nor do I "get" them in that I don't understand them.  A woman at Wendy's tonight was with her about 10 year old son and she had a Franklin tattoo on her ankle.  And she was dressed professionally, like she just came from her administrative assistant job while her son, in his pajama pants and Yankees cap (askew, naturally), had been sitting on his ass all day at home, playing WoW.  Which, I know, it's summer, it's his right, but pajama pants?  I know it's just Wendy's and all, but you couldn't put on real pants?  I don't know.  Somehow, all together, it was depressing.

Anyway, why Franklin?  Was it her son's favorite show at one point?  And it took me a while to place it, you know?  I was all, hey, that looks familiar.  Huh.  Is that some sort of a Dead figure?  Or a stoner thing?  No.  No, it's not.  Nickelodeon.

Also, today at a park, a young-ish woman (early 30's, I'd say) sat near me and she had a Coach diaper bag (it was big and clearly Coach, due to the word "Coach" written all over it) (UPDATE: Clearly I'm in the 00's because Coach bags aren't actually that expensive now.  Huh.  I'm out of the loop on luxury items.  Still, all in all, it was pretty flashy for a diaper bag.  I stand by my initial judgement.) and a brand spankin' new Bugaboo stroller.  Oh, and she had a tattoo of a heart on her neck (above the neckline, right on the jugular -wait! a reference to the cardiovascular system and the fragility of life?).

So, I don't get tattoos.  They seem painful.  They're permanent.  I mean, at one point I had a huge crush on Billy Corgan and, I suppose, could've gotten a tattoo of him and then where would I fucking be now?  Huh?  Or Matthew Fox?  Jesus, dude.  I mean, it's permanent, is all I'm saying.

Also, I feel like I can tell you this (as if you don't already know), but I have spent way too much time on the Twilight Saga in the past few years.  Way too much.  At one point, I had a Twilight sticker on my car.  Boy did my husband hate that.  I scraped it off a year ago (Eclipse sucked, yo.).  Both very expensive and very painful to scrape off a tattoo.  So disgusting.

Also, this wasn't short after all!  Until next time, sluts.  xoxo

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

So I get updates on the 18th-Century American Women blog by Barbara, a retired historian.  She's great.  She also has quite a few other blogs, which she updates constantly.  She finds the greatest things, an example of which is this video explaining 18th Century Women's Clothing Layers.

Follow-up video suggested by Youtube:  Getting Dressed in the 18th Century.  OK, I'm nearly (nearly) 100% straight.  I only say nearly because, damn the end of this video is erotic, right?  The swishing, the laces on the back of the stays.  I feel kinda weird about perving on this whole thing, but I'm also thinking that she put this out there on youtube and I clearly (clearly) am not the only person watching this and thinking costume fetish.  Maybe the only one with female parts, but still.

I feel weird.  It's possible I read too much historical romance-type fiction and fanfiction.  Also?  I feel weird.

That video led me to others by that same girl (I feel like a cyberstalker), koshkacat, who is adorable, as you can see here in this video 

Holy shit, there's a Costume College?  A COSTUME COLLEGE?!?  Must find out more about this. Looks like it's in Florida, though, on account of the palm trees.  In any case, holy shit, that'd be rad.

Also, yesterday we got a costume catalog for Halloween (holy crap, already?) and my children are obsessively reading it.  Mostly my son, but my daughter too.  Anyway, they have a $219.99 women's costume that I would die if I owned.  I wouldn't waste it on these losers here on my street in Middletown, but it would be nice to own, if only because I could "become" Phebe Taylor's ghost and really really indulge my freaky-deaky inner crazy person.  Here's the costume I'm talking about, Ghost Lady Elite.  I like the word elite there.

I have to be honest and say that I wish that she didn't have a stripper vibe going on.  It is what it is with women's Halloween costumes, I suppose.  As an antidote, I'm going to watch some more koshkacat videos.

Until next time and yea... it got weird, right?  Of course it did.

Update:  Following the Youtube trail, once again, led me here: and I found this charming.  Two things:  I love the curtsy at the end (one) and two, she really needs a lady's maid because her hem got caught on the underskirt and that bothers me.  Overall, though, more instructional than the first video way at the top of this post because now I get it a little more.  OK, then.